Editor’s Note: The following essay is one of five winning submissions selected for the 2026 Showstopper Day Essay Contest. In her essay, “Standing Outside in My Ivory Leotard with Pink Accents,” Ella Beharry responds to the prompt, “What dance skill has challenged you the most? What lesson did it teach you?” Ella outlines the challenges she faced before finding the perfect studio and a teacher who made unlocking her dance dreams possible.
Standing in my ivory leotard with pink accents, ready to perform my lyrical solo for the first time at Foxwoods, I realized I had entered on the wrong side of the stage. The time had come and the music was starting, when my stomach dropped. Could I actually do this?
I joined The Tate Academy competition team not being able to do a single pirouette. While I had been dancing since I was two, between Covid and dance training from teachers who either turned me off by labeling me “the perfect ballerina body” or didn’t know how to work with me because I have Hypermobility-Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, I wasn’t progressing. I was taking classes at a school renting from The Tate Academy with my friend, when the artistic director at Tate, Tabitha Boulding, noticed me. She reached out to my mom and said they were having company auditions and asked me if I wanted to try out. Obsessed with a reality tv dance show, I immediately said yes, and began to dream of being on a team with Maddie Ziegler. My 10 year old self was shocked when I attended the wrong audition with the senior company, coming home and telling my mom, “ I didn’t make that team, they are doing flips and triples, what was that coach thinking?”
I found out that I was in the wrong audition and in fact had made the team. The real work began. At orientation, Ms. Tabitha discussed the benefits of solos and how important it is for dancers to have private lessons to catch up. I didn’t want to be the weak one on the team, so I immediately asked for a solo, not even really understanding what I was getting myself into. I listened to song after song and when I heard Lorna Courtney sing , “One More Try” from & Juliet, the Broadway musical, I knew I had found my song. The first lines of the song, “Have you ever felt out of place…. Try to lift your head up… show them what your made of…we were all were born to break the rules..” I knew I could bring this song to life.
It wasn’t easy and Ms. Tabitha had me take company classes, beginners’ classes, book double privates, and I was given extra strength training exercises for home. My mom turned our living room into a “mock studio” even buying Marley to cover part of our hardwood floors, and I began to prepare for competition. While my team had competed solos at two competitions before, Ms. Tabitha did not think I would be ready until Showstoppers to compete. She wanted my first experience to be a positive one, and felt that Showstoppers was the perfect place for a new dancer to experience solo competition.
Watching my teammates compete was slightly nerve-racking because at the time, I didn’t understand Ms. Tabitha’s thought process. I wondered if she thought I wasn’t good enough, or doubted I could actually stand on the stage by myself, and remember the choreography. Maybe I was just “a ballerina body” who was pretty to look at in the group dances. I didn’t really have time to overthink things though because learning to balance school and dance while practicing my solo any moment I could, filled every moment of the day.
Competition day arrived and Ms. Tabitha had me arrive early and feel the actual stage. I ran through my routine, got into the leotard especially blinged out for me, and as I waited to be next on stage, the panic of being on the wrong side of the stage set in. I thought of the words of the song, “ I used to always feel too afraid to take that extra step, make a change, but now I’ve gotta stand up, and show ’em what I’m made of..” and thought, “ Okay, Ella you got this.” The music began and suddenly where I was didn’t matter, nor did the idea that I was competing. I felt like under those lights I was where I was meant to be. I felt alive and even doing the entire routine on the opposite side, I could feel the energy making me want to never leave that stage. I didn’t hear the audience or even see the judges. This was my favorite Showstopper performance because it was the one that ignited my passion for choreography and performance.
Since my first year I have competed on the Showstoppers stage several times and even had the opportunity to be a part of last year’s opening number. The crystals, the placements, the opportunities, are all amazing, but still does not replace my favorite Showstopper performance. “One More Try” represents where I came from and that first Showstopper performance reminds me of the importance of loving what you do. I keep a picture of me dancing that performance as my screensaver. It’s to remind me that no matter what may go wrong in life, if you are doing what you love, you will succeed. I hope that in my senior year of high school I will have the opportunity to do a revamped version of “One More Try” as one of my senior solos. I would like to be able to show other little brown and black girls that you don’t have to be what people think. As the song says, “Sick of being told who I am, been put into a box, no, not again,It’s time for me to step out and show ’em what I’m all about.”
As the last lyric of the song played and I turned and looked to nod at the judges, I saw Ms. Tabitha crying. It didn’t matter if I was on the wrong side, if I stumbled through, or that I placed fifth overall. She cried because she said it was absolutely beautiful to see me come to life on the stage. That Showstopper performance changed my life, and I have never looked back.