Editor’s Note: The following essay is one of five winning submissions selected for the 2026 Showstopper Day Essay Contest. In her essay, “More Than One,” Audrey Tinloy responds to the prompt, “What dance skill has challenged you the most? What lesson did it teach you?” Audrey uses her journey with pirouettes to take readers through her dancer journey.
“One, two, three, and–UGH!”
The daily struggle of pirouettes. More than four is a dream, and less than three is failure. I have been dancing for seven years, and yet I can never turn enough. I can never jump high enough either. Nor can I ever be flexible enough. Dance is a never-ending process. There is always someone better than you, and there is always someone worse than you. You strive for greatness and yet always fall short. Despite the mental and physical struggles of dance, the prominent lesson I have learned through it all has been through pirouettes.
I first started dancing at the age of eight. Though this may seem young, other dancers understand that this is considered late. I was far behind the skill of the majority who had begun dancing by the age of two.
Half a pirouette.
Despite my lack of ability, dance became the outlet for emotion and creative freedom. Though young, I was filled with stress and inner turmoil. Growing up, my family fought constantly. My home was filled with anger and strife. The stress of fighting quickly internalized and I struggled to feel secure socially. At school, I had friends but constantly felt the need to behave differently for them to like me. At that young age, I was basically pretending to be someone else at school. Then, I went to dance.
For the first few years, I danced at a studio with my friends from church and others I knew from around my area. When I went to dance, there was no being someone else. Everyone already knew me so there was no persona to create. I could also move in ways I had never before and I found structure where I had felt lost. Dance was an escape from the turmoil at home. It was a physical expression of my inner struggle. Improv allowed for freedom while technique allowed for structure. Across the floor taught me to channel my feelings into something more. To hold my feelings close and focus intently.
One full pirouette.
After COVID, the trajectory of my dance career took a big shift when I changed dance studios. I began to attend a much more competition-forward studio. Privates daily, ten hours a week, and constant conditioning. It was something a novice dancer was quite unprepared for. My love for dance began to fade under the extreme pressure. Teachers who hated my lack of ability and let me know. Yet I continued to persevere. I needed dance much more than it needed me. It continued to be what I leaned on through difficult moments. Despite the pressure, I pushed through and worked harder.
Two pirouettes.
Two pirouettes, twice as much as the year before yet it was enough for my studio, so it wasn’t enough for me.
Then, I left that studio. The difficulty of continuing to try at a studio that consistently puts you down became too much and I had to go. I had to go so far that I nearly quit dancing. One class a week was all I took for half a year.
One pirouette.
A whole two years later, the passion was back. I came to the studio I am at now and found my love for dance.
Three pirouettes.
What I learned from dance is to keep trying. No matter if it is half a pirouette or 10 pirouettes, keep trying. Dance is such a great outlet for freedom and movement that it is more than worth the effort. Of course I am still learning and growing in dance but it is more than ability. It is more than the amount of turns you can do. It is the ability to express yourself freely in a way that is so much greater than yourself.
Four pirouettes.
