It has been nearly a month since Taylor Swift released The Tortured Poets Department and its surprise double album The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. From cryptic clues to that peace that Taylor kept throwing up, we had to be masterminds to keep up with what the global superstar was up to. Now we know that the Chairman of the Tortured Poets Department was compiling lyrics and files for us to unpack, analyze, and enjoy.
Across four variants and their matching bonus tracks and two CD singles, Taylor has given us a lot of paperwork to dig through. Answer these questions (keep track of your responses!) to find out whether your poetic nature lies in “The Manuscript” or if you’re spilling ink at “The Black Dog.”
1. What kind of paper are you writing your manuscript on?
- Copy Paper
- Notebook Paper
- Index Cards
- A Receipt
- Scrap Paper
- Parchment
2. Pick an animal.
- A White Cat
- An Owl
- An Albatross
- A Black Dog
- A Golden Retriever
- A Unicorn
3. What do you write your poems with?
- Typewriter
- Fountain Pen
- Pencil
- Laptop
- Your Notes App
- Quill Pen
4. Which Era are you the Chairman of?
- reputation
- Fearless
- 1989
- Lover
- Speak Now
- Debut
5. Pick a Lyric.
- “For a moment, I knew cosmic love.”
- “I haven’t come around in so long, but I’m coming back so strong.”
- “Even statues crumble if they’re made to wait.”
- “I’m just getting color back into my face.”
- “I’ve got some regrets, I’ll bury them in Florida.”
- “I am so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.”
6. What Tortured Poets track is YOUR number one?
- “The Tortured Poets Department”
- “imgonnagetyouback”
- “Guilty as Sin?”
- “Down Bad”
- “Florida!!! (feat Florence + The Machine)”
- “So High School”
7. Which word belongs in your poems?
- Soliloquy
- Screech
- Weary
- Sanctimonious
- Stunningly
- Precocious
8. Pick an aesthetic.
- Dark Academia
- Witchcore
- Coastal Cowgirl
- NYC Glam
- Eclectic Grandpa
- Princesscore
9. Travel to a tortured destination.
- The Chelsea Hotel
- Destin
- Los Angeles
- London
- Texas
- Manhattan
10. Who (or what!) is your muse?
- Challenges I Overcome
- My Best Friend
- Historical Events
- My Pet
- My Favorite City
- My Favorite Books
11. What is in your Tortured Poets wardrobe?
- Victorian Mourning Clothes
- Clara Bow’s Curly Bob
- Opera Gloves
- A Long Coat
- Sparkles and Sequins
- A Football Jersey
12. Pick a color.
- Ghosted White
- Parchment Beige
- Smoke Gray
- Ink Black
- Phantom Clear
- I love them all!
13. Pick a Tortured Poet.
- Taylor Swift
- Patti Smith
- Dylan Thomas
- Florence Welch
- Post Malone
- Stevie Nicks
Mostly A’s: The Manuscript
When you have something on your mind, speaking up or putting it on paper is a necessity. You can fill pages with your ideas, and you never want to forget a thing. Who knows when it might become your next masterpiece? With so much to write about, you’re likely prone to long stretches of daydreaming and reminiscing.
The Manuscript Playlist:
- The Manuscript
- The Tortured Poets Department
- So Long, London
- Clara Bow
- loml
Mostly B’s: The Bolter
Adventurous and crafty, you’re not afraid to try new things, but your passions may be short-lived if something more exciting comes along. As quick as you are to excitement, you’re also quick to move on when things don’t work out. This can come with hurdles, but your spontaneity leads to unforgettable experiences.
The Bolter Playlist:
- The Bolter
- imgonnagetyouback
- Fresh Out the Slammer
- I Hate It Here
- Cassandra
Mostly C’s: The Albatross
Dedication is your middle name! You are willing to hold on and put in the effort no matter the task or trial. This makes you a great friend during hard times, but you might also find holding grudges easier than letting go. Hang in there, Swiftie! You know you’ll say “thanK you aIMee” and fly away from problems with time.
The Albatross Playlist:
- The Albatross
- Guilty as Sin?
- Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?
- Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
- thanK you aIMee
- The Prophecy
Mostly D’s: The Black Dog
You value loyalty above all else in your relationships. You’re the number one supporter of the people you love, so betrayal and loss feel extra heavy when things don’t work out. You like to wander through your memories and piece everything together even when it doesn’t seem logical or easy, and you’re not afraid to be dramatic if it helps you feel better.
The Black Dog Playlist:
- The Black Dog
- Down Bad
- The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
- How Did It End?
- I Look in People’s Windows
Mostly E’s: Fortnight
You are the life of the party. You love to travel, and you’re off on adventures as soon as an idea pops into your head. (You probably don’t need a timeshare in Destin, FL, though…) You rejoice in the things that make life magical. You’re happiest when you’re smiling and laughing. Humor is your number one outlet for processing your experiences.
The Fortnight Playlist:
- Fortnight (Feat. Post Malone)
- Florida!!! (Feat. Florence + The Machine)
- Peter
- I Can Do It With a Broken Heart
Mostly F’s: But Daddy I Love Him
Fairytales, romances, and epic stories are your favorite ways to explore poetry. You find joy in revisiting the movies and books that sparked your imagination as a child, and you like to find whimsy in everyday life now. Some of your favorites feel “so high school,” but your happiness is worth it!
The But Daddy I Love Him Playlist:
- But Daddy I Love Him
- My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
- I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
- The Alchemy
- So High School
- Robin
