It might not seem like it from the outside, but even people who seem to have it all together have worked to overcome major life challenges. In fact, that’s probably why they seem to have it all together. Singer-songwriter and entrepreneur Ellee Duke is a perfect example of that kind of growth and success.
After turning her childhood passion for music into a fledgling career in Nashville, Ellee found that success came with a price, her sense of self. Bowing to the demands and expectations of the industry, Ellee found that she had been bullied into following her career path that wasn’t totally hers. Now a confident artist who knows how to stand up to bullies and fully embrace her self-worth, Ellee’s sharing her experiences with her new single “fragile.”
Being bullied can break down a person’s confidence, no matter their age, and make chasing their dreams and even everyday tasks difficult. With “fragile,” Ellee explores standing up for herself. She calls the song “a big cheers to being underestimated” and hopes it will inspire others to believe in themselves when their surroundings are difficult.
We asked Ellee for her best advice for dealing with bullies and how “fragile” helped her find validation in herself.
Showstopper Magazine Online: It’s a common belief that “bullying doesn’t happen” because people don’t often see bullying that looks like depictions in TV shows and movies. What do you say to people who think bullying isn’t real?
Ellee Duke: Bullying can happen in many forms. Manipulation can be a form of bullying, someone guilting or shaming you into doing something you don’t want to do, people making passive-aggressive comments about the way you look, or what you think about something. It can be very covert and happen in small increments.
SMO: What’s your in-the-moment advice to someone dealing with bullying?
Ellee: Stand up for yourself and tell somebody. The biggest reason people get away with bullying is because people don’t shine a light on it. I believe bullies are very scared people. As soon as you put the spotlight on their behavior, they lose all their power over you.
SMO: How do you overcome it?
Ellee: The emotional and mental abuse from bullying can be really difficult to get past. It can make you question yourself and think you are unworthy. These thoughts don’t serve you and only contribute to further damage. Positive affirmations, talking to people you trust, and reminding yourself of your intrinsic worth is especially important.
SMO: Even after the bullying has stopped, those insecurities linger. How do you heal from put-downs, insults, and doubts?
Ellee: You have to keep building your relationship with yourself. That trust and confidence can become impenetrable with time and consistency. Whatever cruel thing someone says or does to you is actually more about them than you. [Sit] in gratitude that you are not a bully and you can sleep at night knowing who you are and that you have chosen peace and kindness. That’s a massive win.
SMO: How are you reclaiming the word “fragile” with your new song?
Ellee: I think expressing and showing emotion does not make me weak or “fragile.” I think it makes me extremely courageous. People have told me I feel things too deeply or I am too much. They’ve tried to tell me what I am or am not allowed to feel. Obviously there’s a healthy balance to it all, but I’d rather live true to what I’m experiencing than shoving my emotions down in an unhealthy way. I think addressing and dealing with our human emotions is incredibly important for each of us to fully understand ourselves and become who we’re meant to be.
SMO: Do you have a favorite line from the song?
Ellee: I love the line in the bridge: “so how’s that for turning tears to glitter when I could be sad and bitter, use your dirt to paint a picture, watch it all float down the river.”
SMO: How do you let people know it’s ok to have feelings or to be fragile?
Ellee: I think this song and my brand, in general, is all about embracing your authenticity and owning it. That’s a through line across what I represent in my music and life.
SMO: What makes you feel most validated?
Ellee: I think validation is an interesting concept. My goal is to be the person who makes me feel the most validated.
SMO: Is there anything else you want people to know about “fragile” or your work?
Ellee: I put my whole heart and soul into my work. My goal is always to try and create an experience for listeners where they feel connected to themselves again through my music. I love when we can relate to our experiences although they may be different, the emotions are so similar. That’s what I love about music is how it brings all different kinds of people together to bond and embrace each other’s stories.
